1940 George Street, Melrose Park, IL
Year: 2014
One of the most exciting things that we Horror Tourers look forward to each season is the selection of brand new haunts that we've never been to. 2014 kicked off with a lot of promise in the form of the Chicagoland version of the 13th Floor, one of a chain of haunted houses with locations in Denver, San Antonio, and Phoenix. The haunt boasts that they have Hollywood style special effects and sets, and while we never believe the hype and prefer to judge in person, at the very least we were anticipating something very interesting.
What we got, at least in terms of visuals, was most enjoyable and interesting. One thing that 13th Floor has is impressive set design. Starting from the entryway, which was made up to look like the gated entrance to an old cemetery, complete with gargoyles, candles, and creepy statues, and on through the rest of the haunt, great care was taken to make each section its own unique little world. As mentioned, visitors started out in the crypt area, which, although completely indoors, managed to look as though it was outside. Faux stone walls towered alongside and full size simulated stone crypts lay scattered about. Visitors passed under stone archways and wound in and out of various graves, then into an old abandoned chapel, which really did have the look of accuracy about it, then "outside" under simulated stars before heading to the next section, which consisted of a series of wire cages that formed a maze that visitors walked through. When approaching certain sections of the maze visitors were greeted by a surprise, which we won't spoil here. It was effectively shrouded in darkness and provided a nice break to the rather monotonous pathway through the cages. The next section featured an old mansion, with visitors
greeted in the main foyer by a creepy live actor who greeted them from
the top of a giant staircase. Proceeding through the house, visitor encountered various
scenes, then found themselves outside again, approaching an old shack
populated by - wait for it - inbred cannibals (naturally). While the
characters were quite derivative and not anything new per se, the sets
were very well done, and it was worth it just to walk through the entire
shack setup. The interesting twist came once visitors exited the shack
and found themselves seemingly walking towards an outbuilding and a
barn. The way the sets were designed it actually looked like both
buildings were part of the same universe as the shack and mansion, as if
visitors were walking through some deserted part of the countryside and
just happened to stumble upon some remnants of civilization. The barn itself contained a couple of our favorite live actors, including a young girl who said that her daddy told her if she had his baby she'd get prettier, then proceeded to ask us if she was pretty yet, and a crazy inbred freak who jumped into and out of the scenes where visitors passed.
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CommentaryMAP
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Following the shack and barn came a haunted casino, which we have never seen before in any haunt we've visited. It included all of the standard casino characters, from shady blackjack dealer to overly solicitous cocktail waitress to veteran casino denizen firmly planted in front of her favorite slot machine. All were given the creepy haunted house treatment. Our favorite bit in this area was one patron who had simply been there too long and who had died slumped over his favorite slot machine.
Here we must diverge for a moment to talk about the actors themselves. Overall, 13th Floor opted for a campy rather than an "in your face" threatening approach from all of their actors, making them funny, ridiculous, and over the top rather than evil. This, to us, was a wise choice, as many of the actors were younger and might not be that "threatening" to adult visitors. Keeping their routines more to jump out/startle scares, grunts and moans, and sarcastic comments effectively complemented the set design, which in some areas had more of a Disneyesque feel to it. A perfect example is the aforementioned casino. Each actor had their unique character traits and, rather than trying to scare us, simply worked on being odd, and it worked very well, especially in the case of the female slot machine patron who gave us a look that clearly indicated she had been there far too long!
Following the casino we found ourselves in a hospital setting followed by a morgue, where another comedy actor asked us if we wanted to be a top of a bottom, pointing to the upper and lower coolers for the bodies. She even offered to show us a "bottom" and opened a drawer to reveal a screaming patient - this tongue in cheek approach worked very well, and allowed us to explore and appreciate the set detail while at the same time having a good laugh.
Thus, in terms of content and design, 13th Floor was excellent. We certainly enjoyed the visuals and the actors complemented while not being too distracting in their portrayals. However, while we had a great time, we do have to say that we can't agree with 13th Floor's statement that it is "Chicago's most horrifying Halloween haunted house experience" - we'd rate the scares as medium, possibly medium-high depending on your age. Your mileage may vary, of course, but while entertaining and impressive visually, "horrifying" is not a term we'd use to describe 13th Floor. We are happy that 13th Floor has come to Chicagoland, and we'll be looking forward to next year as well.
Here we must diverge for a moment to talk about the actors themselves. Overall, 13th Floor opted for a campy rather than an "in your face" threatening approach from all of their actors, making them funny, ridiculous, and over the top rather than evil. This, to us, was a wise choice, as many of the actors were younger and might not be that "threatening" to adult visitors. Keeping their routines more to jump out/startle scares, grunts and moans, and sarcastic comments effectively complemented the set design, which in some areas had more of a Disneyesque feel to it. A perfect example is the aforementioned casino. Each actor had their unique character traits and, rather than trying to scare us, simply worked on being odd, and it worked very well, especially in the case of the female slot machine patron who gave us a look that clearly indicated she had been there far too long!
Following the casino we found ourselves in a hospital setting followed by a morgue, where another comedy actor asked us if we wanted to be a top of a bottom, pointing to the upper and lower coolers for the bodies. She even offered to show us a "bottom" and opened a drawer to reveal a screaming patient - this tongue in cheek approach worked very well, and allowed us to explore and appreciate the set detail while at the same time having a good laugh.
Thus, in terms of content and design, 13th Floor was excellent. We certainly enjoyed the visuals and the actors complemented while not being too distracting in their portrayals. However, while we had a great time, we do have to say that we can't agree with 13th Floor's statement that it is "Chicago's most horrifying Halloween haunted house experience" - we'd rate the scares as medium, possibly medium-high depending on your age. Your mileage may vary, of course, but while entertaining and impressive visually, "horrifying" is not a term we'd use to describe 13th Floor. We are happy that 13th Floor has come to Chicagoland, and we'll be looking forward to next year as well.
SPECIAL NOTE ABOUT PRICING:
Normally when we review a haunt we include pricing in with our overall chainsaw rating. We managed to get a special half-off rate for opening weekend at 13th Floor as we found a discount code online, and wound up paying $21 per ticket for limited wait VIP (which actually wound up being an hour wait anyway as the haunt wasn't ready to open when we got there, but that's another story entirely).
As such, we were reviewing in terms of our actual cost, which we realized would not necessarily be other peoples' actual cost. Thus, our above review is for the content of the haunt only. If we had to rate the pricing and factor that in, then we'd have to rate 13th Floor much lower. Why? Well, to being with the base price for general admission is $25. While this is not necessarily out of line, given than the entire haunt was only 15 minutes long, it is a bit on the pricey side. Other comparable haunts are longer and slightly cheaper for general admission.
Additionally, while the base general admission price is $25, that is only on select days and NOT on weekends. The price goes up on Fridays, where it is $27, and then goes up even more on select Saturdays and Halloween, where a general admission ticket will set you back $30! We've never seen a ticketing scheme that increases the prices on select days. Usually we see the same prices but with select days discounted with a 2 for 1 or a percentage off (usually with a coupon). This smacks a bit of price gouging in our mind.
Not only that, but there are two VIP levels - the limited wait (which, according to the web site; limits the wait to an hour on busy nights), and the no wait, which allows immediate access to the haunt. The limited wait adds another $10 to the price, and the no wait adds $20. Thus, if you went on a Saturday and wanted full VIP, you'd expect to pay $50 just to get in. To add insult to injury, if you buy tickets online there is A $2.00 processing fee plus taxes, which adds another $4-$5 onto the total. For full VIP, that's close to $55 for a 15 minute haunt. It smacks a bit of price gouging to us, especially given that it's even a higher price than older and more well-established haunts in the Chicagoland area.
If you factor in the pricing, the overall chainsaw rating for the haunt comes in at about 2.5. It's a bit too short for the standard price, and it's not at all worth it for the limited wait or full VIP prices (personally, we don't think ANY haunts are worth $50, especially not if they are only 15 minutes long). Our advice - go early and get in line for general admission tickets. That way you'll save the online processing fees and get the lowest possible price, while (hopefully) beating the long lines. Keep in mind that VIP and limited wait patrons are let in first, so there still might be a wait. Go on an off day (Sunday or Thursday) if you can, and get there before they open. If you see a really long line, use your best judgement. Everyone's tastes differ, so you'll have to judge for yourself whether a long wait is worth it. Good luck!
As such, we were reviewing in terms of our actual cost, which we realized would not necessarily be other peoples' actual cost. Thus, our above review is for the content of the haunt only. If we had to rate the pricing and factor that in, then we'd have to rate 13th Floor much lower. Why? Well, to being with the base price for general admission is $25. While this is not necessarily out of line, given than the entire haunt was only 15 minutes long, it is a bit on the pricey side. Other comparable haunts are longer and slightly cheaper for general admission.
Additionally, while the base general admission price is $25, that is only on select days and NOT on weekends. The price goes up on Fridays, where it is $27, and then goes up even more on select Saturdays and Halloween, where a general admission ticket will set you back $30! We've never seen a ticketing scheme that increases the prices on select days. Usually we see the same prices but with select days discounted with a 2 for 1 or a percentage off (usually with a coupon). This smacks a bit of price gouging in our mind.
Not only that, but there are two VIP levels - the limited wait (which, according to the web site; limits the wait to an hour on busy nights), and the no wait, which allows immediate access to the haunt. The limited wait adds another $10 to the price, and the no wait adds $20. Thus, if you went on a Saturday and wanted full VIP, you'd expect to pay $50 just to get in. To add insult to injury, if you buy tickets online there is A $2.00 processing fee plus taxes, which adds another $4-$5 onto the total. For full VIP, that's close to $55 for a 15 minute haunt. It smacks a bit of price gouging to us, especially given that it's even a higher price than older and more well-established haunts in the Chicagoland area.
If you factor in the pricing, the overall chainsaw rating for the haunt comes in at about 2.5. It's a bit too short for the standard price, and it's not at all worth it for the limited wait or full VIP prices (personally, we don't think ANY haunts are worth $50, especially not if they are only 15 minutes long). Our advice - go early and get in line for general admission tickets. That way you'll save the online processing fees and get the lowest possible price, while (hopefully) beating the long lines. Keep in mind that VIP and limited wait patrons are let in first, so there still might be a wait. Go on an off day (Sunday or Thursday) if you can, and get there before they open. If you see a really long line, use your best judgement. Everyone's tastes differ, so you'll have to judge for yourself whether a long wait is worth it. Good luck!